Ok so my purpose of this blog is to bitch and moan about the pain I am in everyday so if someone else out there has the same symptoms or just feels kinda like I do they know they aren't alone. There are alot of us out there suffering in silence or not silence that look perfectly fine but feel horrendous pain through out our day.
Today I am not going to bitch about the pain as much as I am going to bitch about my life. I'm married and I have 2 teenagers. The kids are pretty good about things as they were pretty young when it all started. My husband is pretty good about things as he has his own issues so he normally understands. But I am so damn tired of not having a sex life. I almost forget what its like. And that is just depressing. We used to have sex all the time....and then we got married. My pain issues started slowly and got much worse over the years. He has some neck and shoulder problems then BAM he has a couple of blood clots in his knee that they can't do anything with and he is in constant pain also.
Lovely we are both broken in body and its breaking part of our relationship with it. We have talked and fought about it. At one point he actually told me he felt I married him only for the sex. So I stopped instigating sex. I still don't really instigate sex. When I finally get desparate enough to instigate it doesn't work out well for me. He is either too tired or what not and he doesn't turn me down and well he also isn't into it. So yeah I get sex but bad sex is not always better than no sex.
We used to be swingers. I say used to because I haven't had a toy on the side in ages. He still does at times. I only have a problem with it when I am not getting any or any good sex and he is going to his girlfriends. I need to find myself a boytoy but I want to be satisfied with us before having an extra.
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